Hello, Hello
by Bishop Sasarai
Summary: NoahxCody Izzy's adamant declarations that Noah loves Cody start something in motion that Noah's not ready for. Too bad Cody's going to get caught in the crossfire. WARNING: Condescending Noah. This is Noah's POV and we all know he's rude.
1. Prologue: Boy Genius

**Hello, Hello**

**Prologue**

**Boy Genius**

There's a lot to be said for being labeled a "child prodigy." Most of it's not entirely positive. For one thing, people expect a lot more from you. If you spend your time, say, playing a video game for hours on end, you're accused of wasting your potential. Believe me, I know these things. I was labeled a "child prodigy" as a child, and it's been nothing but a hassle.

Being blessed with intelligence has its advantages. For one thing, I never have to study before a big test. Nope. Once I've read the material, it sticks with me. It could be my genuine interest in learning, unlike the meathead dopes that attend my high school. I don't even know why I have to suffer through high school in the first place. I mean, I'm constantly surrounded by apes, making their stupid noises at one another.

Half the jocks don't even know how to actually speak English. Have you heard them in the halls? It's all _sups_ and_ grunts _while they slap each other around. Have you seen that ridiculous thing where they smack their chests together? It's so gay. I think they should just create a new official language for jocks. Jockese. Jockian. Jockican. Something like that.

Now, I'm sure you're wondering why I'm waxing on about my smarts. If you don't know me, then it would be the logical question: why does this guy talk so much about his brain? I happen to be proud of my above-average intelligence. But that's not why I'm talking about it. At least, not in this specific context. Let me tell you why I'm going on and on about my intelligence.

I'm starting to learn that intelligence doesn't… This pains me so much to say… But I am… Ugh. Do I really have to admit this?

I am starting to realize that no matter how intelligent a person is, when you are blindsided intelligence doesn't matter. I can't believe I said that. Ew. _Intelligence doesn't matter?_

Noah would never say that. Well, shut up, because he has. Let me remind you, that it _does_ matter in almost any other field, but in this case… It doesn't really give you a leg up.

I'll tell you who is an expert at blindsiding people. Her name starts with an I. And ends with a Y. Actually, she goes by E-Scope now, but that is entirely beside the point. I thought Izzy was my friend. She may not appear it, but she's actually somewhat intelligent. Or she's so _out_ there that not even the most intelligent person can predict her actions, which is almost an intelligence in itself. …You know what? Don't judge me. I'm telling this story.

Izzy. I thought she was my friend. I thought she was smart. But then she started hounding me. Hounding me _isn't _smart. It's the opposite of smart. It's infuriatingly, stupidly retarded. But she just wouldn't _let it go._

OMFG.

This is how pissed I am.

I am using _CHAT SPEAK_.

I _never_ use chat speak. I'm above it. I'm intelligent, remember? You know what else pisses me off? When people spell the word _whoa_ wrong. It is _not_ woah. It's so wrong. It's a four letter word. How do you misspell a four letter word? Go out and buy a dictionary. Look the word up. Or, you know what? Get a word processor that actually works. I'm tired of looking at you people hideously massacring the English language. It's disgusting. Why do you even bother showing up for school? If you're not retaining any knowledge, I suggest you just quit now. If you're in high school and you're still misspelling whoa, then there is no hope for you. Get lost.

Ahem.

As I was saying. Izzy kept on pestering me about this _thing_ with Cody. There is no damn thing with Cody. She kept throwing it in my face that I kissed him. Oh my god! I did _not_!

Okay. You know what? I quit right now. If you're not going to believe me, then why should I even bother arguing?

That's right.

On with my story.

Okay, well. I don't know how Trent knew. That was just… Why is everyone spying on me, anyway? Am I so interesting that people have to watch me sleeping with another guy?!

Not like that. Get your mind out of the gutters, _please_.

All right, so I kissed him. It was on the damn ear. It doesn't count.

What was I dreaming about? Uh, I plead the fifth.

Do you know what that means? Pleading the fifth means you are falling back on the Fifth Amendment which… I'm not explaining this to you. Go look it up if you don't know what it is.

So, I'm sure you're wondering when I'm going to get to the part where I concede that intelligence really doesn't trump all? You're probably waiting for the part where Noah gets his pride handed to him in a colored Easter basket and is forced to eat crow. Do you know what that means? I'll just give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you do. I really don't feel like explaining.

I'm sure you just can't wait.

It started with Izzy pestering me. It ended with me humiliated in every way possible.

This is the story… Of me learning what falling in love really means.

That's one lesson you really can't learn from a teacher. Well, unless your teacher is into that kind of thing.

Fine, it's one lesson you can't learn from reading a book. Trust me, I know. Reading about it is nothing like the real thing. It's messy, scary, threatening, life-changing, disgusting, amazing, and you know what?

I wouldn't change it for the world.

-Noah-

**A/N: I hope that was intriguing enough to keep you interested. I also hope Noah's habit of talking down didn't scare any readers away. **


	2. Shut Up Izzy

**Hello, Hello**

**Chapter One**

**Shut Up Izzy**

"You did did did diddiddiddiddid…"

"Shut up. I did not."

"Diddiddid."

This has been going on for _hours_. No matter how vehemently I deny her baseless accusations that I have a crush on Cody, she continues to insinuate just the opposite. It's wearing my nerves thin. I try to ignore her, but her constant repetition of the word_ did_ is impossible to completely block out. It doesn't help that she keeps creating new melodies to sing it in, either.

Sometimes, I honestly envy the juvenile delinquent type like Duncan. If I were Duncan, I could have punched her by now, but since I'm Noah, not Duncan… The sad truth is, it would literally hurt me more than it would hurt her. I'm not accustomed to using violence against others. I tend to let them do that themselves. The last one standing is the pacifist, right?

"Did did did… Diddiddid… Did diiiiiiid diiid…"

I'm almost ready to admit it, just to get her to shut up.

Almost.

"Izzy. Oh my god. Shut. Up."

My aggravation rolls right off her like the water in her orange hair. I raise my book higher, so that I can at least block my view of her with intelligent words. But I can't concentrate enough to actually read them.

"She_ is_ starting to get annoying."

I lower my book to see Eva. She looks like she's going to do me a favor and punch Izzy. I raise one eyebrow, waiting for it.

"Isn't she?" I say over the chorus of "dids" in the background. How did her parents ever put up with her? I think I might have committed suicide by this point.

"Someone should permanently rip out her vocal chords," Eva agrees. The way she says it, while cracking her knuckles and all, gives me the impression she's signing herself up for the job. While the promise of this spectacle greatly amuses me, I've been wondering something ever since Izzy brought up the whole awake-a-thon thing.

"Where is Cody, anyway?" I ask. "I'm sure he'll back me up."

Eva snickers. "Sure he will."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I place my book down on my lap, annoyed by her tone. Is she implying what I think she's implying? Because if she is…

"Pssst…" I hear a voice from a bush behind me. I twist around in my seat.

"Harold?"

"Shhh, I'm still hiding from Courtney."

Understandable.

"What?" I ask, noting that Eva has gotten up. I'm keeping an eye on her in case she really does decide to rip out Izzy's vocal chords. "Do you want me to sneak you something? Because I'm sure you're aware that comes with a price tag attached…"

I don't need his money, but I'm not about to help him for nothing.

"Cody's over by that pool."

It seems my sentiments aren't shared by Harold, though. Lucky me.

"Oh. Thanks." I didn't really want to find Cody _right this instant_, but I do look in the direction Harold gestures towards and Cody is, indeed, lounging by the pool. He's wearing nothing but a pair of swim trunks. His eyes are closed and his arms are behind his head. He is the very _picture_ of relaxation. This annoys me. How does it come to pass that I'm hounded by Izzy, and he gets to lie there, unmolested?

…Okay. That was a really bad choice of words.

Don't be immature. Do you even know what molestation means? It's not only sexual in nature.

Anyway, Cody's lying over there, enjoying the sun, while I'm stuck watching Eva wave a fist in a threatening manner at Izzy. Now that is amusing. I find myself smirking at the girls. Is she really going to attack Izzy? After watching for a moment, it doesn't appear that way.

I sigh and turn my attention back to Cody, halfway across the resort. I might as well ask him to corroborate my story. I'm not exactly sure why he's not getting heckled as severely as I am—or at all, really—but I'm fairly certain that he can't be thrilled that people are accusing him of being kissed by me.

All right. After a brief assessment of the situation, it's obvious why he's sunning happily while I'm getting harassed. I can see why it doesn't effect his reputation as badly as mine. He was the one who received the alleged "kiss," which is entirely different than being the one who initiated it…

Not that I'm confessing to anything.

I get up out of my chair, my thick summer reading in hand. I know if I leave it here by the ignoramuses, it will only be destroyed; thrown in the water, torn to shreds, colored in. Who knows what lengths these animals would go to just to get on my last nerve?

I stand directly in Cody's line of sunlight. I stare down at him. His eyes are still closed. I can smell the coconut scent of sun block. His skin is a warm peach. My eyes wander to the waistband of his swimming trunks. His stomach is flat and I can see the vague curve of hip bone peeking out. My gaze gets stuck on his navel and I find it hard to swallow.

I force myself to focus on his face instead.

"Cody," I say in my best demanding tone. He jumps and blinks up at me, startled. It makes me wonder if he was napping this whole time.

"Yeah?" He looks at me from a tilted head, one eye closed, the other squinted halfway shut. He lifts a hand up over his eyes to shield them from the sun that passes my shoulder and directly into his face. His mouth is set in a grimace, and I can sort of see his little gap.

"Listen. About the…incident…"

"Did did did…" I hear a giggle from somewhere behind me. I roll my eyes, then turn to glare at Izzy, my free hand on my hip.

"I thought Eva took care of you?"

"Diddid diiiid…"

It's useless trying to fight her. Her eccentricity is a worthy adversary. Perhaps too worthy. And does she have to be standing _right_ there?

"Can't you see I'm trying to have a _private_ conversation with Cody?" I glower at Izzy. This causes her to giggle again. I have an idea where her mind is wandering, but I can't be sure. Not with Izzy. I turn away from her, doing my best to ignore her.

"What incident?" Cody asks.

I stare at Cody. Is he serious?

"What do you mean, '_what incident'_? You know."

Cody still looks puzzled. Don't tell me he actually managed to forget! The luxury of being stupid and foolish!

"I don't know what incident you're referring to."

"Didiiiiie diddid!"

I'm aware that Izzy is still right there, up my butt, so I move closer to Cody and lean down.

"Can we go somewhere private?" I whisper as quietly as I can with Izzy blabbing nonsense behind me. Cody's eyes widen.

"Wh-whaat?"

I recoil, realizing how that must sound. "That's _not_ what I meant!"

Izzy must have heard what I said. I can hear her stifling a laugh. When I look over at her, I can see her covering her mouth. I glare at her. At least she stopped singing that ridic—

"Diiiiid did diiiid!"

Never mind.

"Look, would you just humor me here?" I cross my arms and frown down at Cody. Cody sits up, looking dubious. What, does he think I _want_ to jump his bones or something? As if.

I lead Cody away from the poolside and into a quieter area by the rooms. We're in the shade now, and it feels good after standing with the hot sun beating down on me. Cody's no longer squinting. He stands with his hands awkwardly at his sides, then rubs one arm, waiting for me to say something.

"This is about…" I lower my voice. "The incident."

"You said that before, but, dude, I still don't get what you're saying."

"You know, during the challenge where we had to stay awake the longest. The awake-a-thon?"

Cody blinks. I can tell he's thinking about it. One of his eyes ticks half closed for a moment.

"The kiss!" I burst out, flinging my arms out for dramatic effect.

Cody blinks again, looking taken aback. "Kiss…? Oh. Oh!" I watch comprehension dawn on his face.

"Yes, oh! _That_ incident."

Cody looks distinctly nervous now. He averts his gaze and his hand stills. He is no longer rubbing his arm.

"Just so we're clear," I said. "I didn't kiss you while you were sleeping."

Cody's eyes dart back at me. God, why does he always look so puzzled about everything?

"But, you just…"

"I know what _really_ happened," I hiss, stepping forward. How dumb can he be? "But if you tell people it's not true, maybe they'll shut up about it already."

"Izzy's the only one who's talking about it," Cody pointed out, tilting his head and squinting at me weirdly.

"It's only a matter of time before somebody like Duncan gets in on it, too," I remind him. He looks nervous at the mention of Duncan. Nobody wants to be tormented the way Harold was and it's easy enough to forget all about Duncan, given the fact that he has yet to join us at the loser's resort.

You know, now that I think about it, losing was the best thing that happened to me during my time on the Island.

And don't get me wrong about Duncan. I know perfectly well how to handle clowns like him. It would just save me a lot of plotting and manipulation if Cody would just agree to go along with my version of the events of that night.

"I don't know…" Cody said, scratching idly at his chin. Why the hell wouldn't you deny it? "I mean, what if they start picking on me next? I'd rather not even bring the subject up. If I do, they'll assume I've been thinking about it all this time, and…"

"And you haven't?" How could he not think about it? He'd been kissed and spooned by a guy! Me, no less! It was a life-changing moment. Not the way you're thinking. I mean because of the whole Izzy not shutting up about it thing.

"Not really." Cody shrugs.

How can he be so nonchalant about it? He woke up with _a guy spooning him and sucking on his ear! _I admit, this all sounds very incriminating. In my defense, I'd been awake for a prolonged amount of time out in the wild with non-nutritious food as a diet and my dream was very vivid…

"Except…" Cody's voice interrupts my reminiscence. Thank god. I don't want to go there again.

"Except?" I prompt him.

"What were you dreaming about?" He regards me with curious eyes. He seems troubled by something. I feel something akin to panic rising up in me. Why is he asking me this? What had I done, other than make out with his ear?

I slap an exasperated hand to my face. Why? Why is he asking me this?

"Why does that even matter?"

Cody shrugs again. "I don't know. You were the one hanging onto me and…" He trails off, looking embarrassed. "Heheh."

"It's not funny," I inform him sourly.

"Sorry." He says the word immediately, as if he expected my reaction and his face actually shows remorse. "It's a nervous habit."

"Why did I ever sign up for this?" I mutter, turning away from Cody. My hand goes to my face again and I shake my head. I could be at home, doing something productive with my life.

"The money?" Cody suggests.

I sag against the wall. "Yes," I agree. "The money."

"Noah and Cody… Sitting in a tree…"

"Oh, that's it, Izzy!" I fume. "I'm not listening to any more of this!"

I storm off to find the little troublemaker, leaving Cody to stand alone in the shade.

**+Several Hours Later+**

It's night. It's peaceful and quiet. I can hear the sound of the ocean waves lapping ashore and I lie in my bed with one arm tucked behind my head. I'm curled up on my side, staring out the screen door of my room. Izzy finally got bored of messing with me and suddenly became interested in scuba diving again. I swear, if the girl wasn't so intriguing…

I'm having trouble falling asleep, despite the lullaby of the ocean outside. I keep hearing her "dids" ringing through my memory. Some of her little jingles were actually pretty catchy. I also keep replaying my conversation with Cody. I'm still incredulous that he can be so nonchalant about the whole situation. I guess it's not a big deal for him. He wasn't the aggressor. Just a victim of some crazed gay fantasy. Nobody's going to question_ his_ sexuality.

I sigh and haul myself out of the bed.

Outside, it's nice. A little breezy. The ocean is calm and soothing and the sky is like a giant dark comforter draped over the island. I can see the moon, half hidden by clouds. I sit in the sand by the water, just out of reach of the current tide. Sitting so close to the water, my head resting on my knees, I feel myself being lulled to sleep…

"Noah?"

I start awake and look up.

"Cody?"

He's wearing his pajamas and his brown hair is slightly disheveled. But his eyes are alert, wide awake. He's been awake for a while. He sits down next to me in the sand.

"Can't sleep?" I ask, then regret it. What a stupid question. Why else would he be out here?

"Nope. Harold's snoring could keep a grizzly up. Heheh." He winces. I remember he was mauled half to death by the Island's resident grizzly and grimace as well. "I thought about what you said."

I look at him with surprise. "What did I say? Refresh my memory."

"About the whole…uh…" He rubs the back of his neck. "Incident. Heheh."

"Oh. Right. So, did you come up with a decision?"

"Uh…" Cody gets really quiet. This bodes ill. I look over at him. Did he decide not to help me? It wasn't like the situation could get worse without his aid. I notice he's not looking at me. He's staring into the dark ocean.

"No," he admits after a long pause.

"Then what were you thinking about?" I ask, only slightly irritated that he was wasting my time.

"You."

I jerk in shock at that single word. Me? I stare at him, almost slack-jawed like a stupid ape-head jock.

"Wh—" I start.

"N-not like that, dude!" Cody hastens to clarify. I scrutinize him, but I can barely make out his silhouette in the dark. I might not be able to really see him, but I think he might be blushing. "I just meant that I thought over the things you said."

He goes quiet again. I'd already known that. Why was he repeating himself? He remained silent, until I'd begun to give up on him saying anything more. Then:

"What_ were_ you dreaming about?"

I stand up.

"I'm really tired." I yawn for good measure. Cody looks up at me. In the slant of moonlight peeking through the clouds in the sky, his eyes look extra bright. The way the moon highlights his hair makes it look soft, despite the current mess it's in. It makes me want to…

I reach out and ruffle his hair.

"Huh?" He looks bewildered.

"Goodnight, Cody."

**To Be Continued. As to be expected with TDI, there will be a lot of chaos in the chapters to come. Also, this style of writing is experimental for me, but I thought it would fit the fast pace of TDI better than my usual third person limited omniscient. It will be told entirely through Noah. Sorry to disappoint anyone who wanted to known Cody's immediate thoughts. Feedback is appreciated.**


	3. The Challenge

**Hello, Hello**

**Chapter Two**

**The Challenge**

It's the next morning, and I find myself lying on my stomach in my bed. One half of my blankets hang off the bed. I feel drowsy and I don't want to move. I hear Geoff's voice, no doubt flirting with Bridgette. Yep. I just heard her whisper something back. I groan and let my face fall back into my pillow. Ugh. I'm so tired. All night, I kept waking up because Izzy's "dids" haunted me all through my nightmares. I really want to hate her. I do. But it's just so hard.

Lying there with my face in the pillow, I find my thoughts wandering into forbidden territory. Immediately, I make myself sit up and get out of bed to get dressed. Nope. I'm not letting myself go there. It's strange how you think you can leave things like this at home, and then they follow you all the way to a reality television show, where the entire world can see you working through the skeletons in your closet.

Oh god. I wonder if they played that scene of Cody and I on network television. I suddenly feel like I want to puke, but it passes after I stand motionless, one leg in my pants, the other… well, not.

"What're you doing, dude?" Geoff asks with a laugh, and I glance over at him.

"I'm getting dressed," I tell him, like he's a moron. I even manage to say it without betraying a single ounce of embarrassment. "What does it look like?"

I slip the rest of my pants on while Geoff and Bridgette start going at it again. I roll my eyes. I'd tell them to get a room, but oh, wait! They stole mine.

Once my shoes are on, I leave the room to get some breakfast. I'm so glad I don't have to eat Chef Hatchet's slop anymore. I mean, seriously, you'd think there would be some law against feeding kids those concoctions he whips up. Just thinking back on it makes me want to gag.

"BOO!"

"AHHH!" I leap back and scream. My hand flies to my thudding heart.

Izzy is hanging upside down from the roof by a rope tied around her waist, laughing maniacally. Her hands are formed in the shape of claws.

"You scream just like a _girl_!" She's laughing so hard, it looks like she's having difficulty drawing breath. Serves her right.

"Hah. Hah. Very funny. I do not."

I step past her, glad that I somehow manage to appear calm on the outside, because inside, my heart is still doing somersaults. Izzy flips off the roof and walks with me to the snack bar. She's chattering the whole way about how funny that was and how scared I looked and that I should have seen my face. (I think I'd rather not.) We both take a seat on the tall stools. I order something to eat while she wraps her rope up, still breaking into peals of laughter. I raise my eyebrows at her.

"It wasn't that funny."

"Oh _yes_ it was!" While she caves to laughter once more, I slide my menu back to the server. He tells me it will be ready in about five minutes and hands me my drink. It's in one of those martini glasses. Some brightly colored lime green fruit drink. I think it's supposed to look like a margarita or something. I take a sip out of the slim red straw.

"Ooh, I want some!" Izzy proclaims.

"Then order your own."

Eventually, she does order her own, but only after she's sucked down half of _my_ drink. I'm glad when my meal arrives and the server gives me a refill, otherwise, I might be pissed. I'm about a quarter of a way through my breakfast when Cody plops down at my right.

"Morning, dude!" He greets me with a smile that shows off his gap. He offers me some kind of salute with two fingers. He leans his elbow on the table and I can tell he thinks he is the epitome of cool.

"Morning," I reply dryly, although I am decidedly less chipper than he is. I do not return the stupid salute.

"What're you drinking?" Cody inquires. "Is that alcohol?"

"No."

"It kind of looks like it, though, huh?"

"Your powers of observation are stunning." I roll my eyes. I take a sip of the drink, while Izzy leans forward, getting right in my personal space. _Do you mind?_ She's got her eyes set on Cody. I don't think this is going to be good…

"Noah loves you!" she crows suddenly, thrusting her finger at Cody.

"PFFFFT!" My drink is forcefully ejected from my mouth in my shock. Some of it slides down my throat without warning, and I choke. "Izzy!" I croak, then start into a violent coughing fit. She starts whacking my back, and it's_ not_ helping.

"What? It's truuuue!"

I hear Cody's nervous "Heheh" and I swing my gaze towards him. He seems awfully amused by this. I recall him saying it was a nervous habit, but I know he doesn't _only_ laugh when he's nervous. He gives me a strange smile when our eyes meet. I wonder what that's about.

"Somehow, I always knew you were gay," a voice breaks in. I look up to see…none other than my arch-nemesis: Justin. He's wearing this annoyingly smug expression on his conventionally handsome face. I narrow my eyes.

"I'm not gay."

"I don't believe you." Justin sounds self assured. Too self assured.

I turn my revolving chair all the way around to face him.

"I'll just have to prove it, then."

"Oooh, this is getting exciting," I hear Izzy sing. "I smell a challenge! I _love_ a good challenge! It's like a spy movie, you know, when they're all POW POW and kablooey! Then they have to jump away from the fiery explosions, and…" She throws herself on the ground and does a flip. I think she might have a future in stunt doubling.

"Bring it on." I focus my attention back on the anti-me and lean back in my chair. I cross my arms, giving Justin a look every ounce as smug as his. "I can't lose."

"It's the only outcome," Justin says, starting to walk away. "Because you _are_ gay and I doubt any female here at Playa Des Losers or anywhere would ever agree to be your girlfriend."

I'm not about to challenge Justin to one of those "who can get a woman faster" challenges. I'm not stupid. It's obvious he would win. He has some kind of manipulative ability over girls that I can't mimic.

"Oooh!" Izzy perks up, stretching her leg out in front of Justin before he can pass. "I know! What if he can get somebody to kiss him or vice versa? Does he win?"

Justin pauses and turns his gaze on me. He has this predatory look in his eyes that spells trouble. I know he's going to insult me, so I open my mouth to respond first… However, before either of us can say anything, Izzy grabs my arm and spins me around to face Cody, then shoves me forward.

"Whoa!" I try—unsuccessfully—to keep my balance, but since I'm not athletically inclined, I end up pitching forward. My right hand lands on Cody's thigh, the other wildly gropes for the bar counter. Cody's first reaction is to leap up, but I continue in my forward momentum, plowing my head into his chin. We both end up toppling over.

Cody lands on his back, smacking his head against the cement. It doesn't help that I basically end up head butting him a second time when I land.

"Oww…" Cody reaches up to soothe his nose, which has started bleeding. I hastily climb off his body to assess my own damage. I seem to be fine, except a bruise forming where my head connected with Cody's face. Cody lies there and moans in pain. I reach up and grab a handful of napkins and toss them onto his stomach. "Danks…"

Cody grabs the napkins while he sits up. The blood flow is even worse, now that he's upright.

"You have to incline your head," I tell him. He gives me a blank look. I sigh in exasperation and take his shoulder in one hand and the back of his head in the other. His eyes widen. I ignore the fact that my heart rate speeds up and force his head back to stare up at the sky. "Just stay like that for a few minutes and should dry up. Keep your napkins to your face for overflow," I add when I notice he's about to lower his hand.

Izzy nudges my upper back with her toe. I let go of Cody and turn to her.

"This," I point at Cody. "Is all your fault. And stop trying to make me kiss him." Like I don't know what the shove and the toe to the back were all about. "I'm_ not_ gay."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Her feigned innocence wouldn't fool Lindsay. Or maybe it would. That girl is dumber than the idea that I'm gay.

"I might let you off the hook," Justin says with a smirk. "If you actually find a girl who isn't coerced, manipulated, or coaxed into kissing you."

He actually knows what all those words mean? I'm almost impressed. Still, this little "challenge" of his is ridiculous. How hard can it be to get a girl to kiss me? Well, without coercion, manipulation, or coaxing, it might prove to be fairly difficult.

"Fine." However, I'm not letting_ him _off the hook so easily, either. I have to get something out of this whole ordeal. Other than a kiss, that is. "But I have a proposal for you, as well. You have to do something equally challenging."

"I can do anything your mind can cook up."

His cocky manner is so annoying. He was probably only chosen for this reality show as a piece of eye candy for the girls. He's not even a productive member of society. What have his ideas accomplished? Nothing. He's nothing but a servile, fashion plated clone of the mass belief that beauty is everything. I'm sick of his sex appeal, and his straight, white teeth. So what if he's tall, toned, and tan? I hate the way he sneers down at me because I'm not the ideal image of today's teen.

"You have to find a boy to kiss you, who isn't coerced, manipulated, or coaxed into it."

Justin's smile falters for a second, but then it's back again, in all its blinding whiteness.

"That… will be very simple." He walks away, still looking confident, turns and adds, "Remember, you need proof of this kiss. I'll be sure to bring you proof of mine. Ciao."

He kisses his fingers and waves them at me.

What have I got myself into?

"It's a good thing Owen's not here," Cody pipes up.

I turn back to him, with raised eyebrows. He lowers his head and dabs at his nose. My advice seems to have worked. The blood has clotted successfully.

"Why do you say that?"

"Owen would kiss Justin in a heartbeat," Cody says cheerfully. Too cheerfully, if you ask me.

"_You_ better not kiss him," I warn. Cody takes the bloody napkins away from his face.

"Why would I do that?" He looks disgusted. I watch as he throws the soiled napkins into a nearby waste basket. Hm, disgust… I don't have time to speculate, because…

"Better get crackin', hot lips!" Izzy stands up and makes a whipping sound while she snaps her rope like a whip. "Those girls won't be there all day!"

"Yes, they will. Or have you forgotten we're stuck at this resort until somebody wins?"

"Why don't _you_ just kiss him?" Cody asks Izzy.

"Good point, Izzy." I look up at her, from the ground, where I'm still sitting after she so mercilessly pushed me into Cody.

"I can't make it that easy for you." Izzy crosses her arms and stares down at me in a threatening manner. "Now, let's see." She taps her chin thoughtfully. "What girls do you have to choose from…?"

Everyone but Gwen, really. Well, that's not exactly true. Half the girls here have—typically—hooked up with a guy during their time here. My options are somewhat limited.

"Lindsay?" Cody suggests.

"No way." I think about it. Well, Lindsay is pretty dumb… It probably wouldn't take any dirty tricks to get her to lay one on me. Still, I better think this through a little. I'm not about to jump into something without analyzing the situation first. Besides that… "She's with Tyler. Who else?"

"What about Eva Eeeeeva mo-meeva, fee-fi-fo-feeva?" Izzy asks. Cody cringes. I can't determine if it's because of Izzy's newest lame song or just Eva in general.

"What if she beats him up for asking?" He's still cringing. I am assuming it's Eva herself he's cringing at. I personally don't find her all that scary. At least she's_ trying_ to tone down her temper these days.

"I don't know…" I say slowly. Eva is a possibility. "Who else?"

"Beth?" Cody chimes in.

It's my turn to cringe. "That sloppy little geek? Are you kidding me?"

"What's wrong with her?" He shrugs. "She's nice. I bet all you'd have to do is ask."

"She's _Beth_." I can't possibly settle for Beth. There's no interest there whatsoever. She's kind of like an embarrassing little sister, if anything.

"I guess Heather is a no?" Cody asks like it's a given. I'm not particularly fond of Heather, although I do enjoy her ability to start conflict like no other.

"And she used to be sooo pretty!" Izzy laments. I can't tell with her whether it's sarcasm or if she's serious.

"If you like that type." I raise my eyebrows slightly. Heather is basically a female version of Justin. Yuck. Or she was, until she showed up wearing that tacky mullet wig.

"Gwen's cute!" Cody blurts out. "But she's with Trent…"

"Not to mention, Gwen is not here," I remind him. "Besides, she hates me and I don't exactly like her, either."

"You're so picky, man," Cody says. "There are a lot of cute girls here to choose from. How about Sadie?"

I open my mouth to make a scathing remark about Sadie and her weight issue—not to mention her lesbian tendencies with Katie, but Izzy decides to interrupt.

"That's because he's gay. Gay gay gaaaaay."

"Izzy. We're not playing that game again."

"Gaaaaay gaygaygay!"

"I am not."

"And he has the hots for Ydoc." She giggles. "Y-Doc. I like that."

"Disregard everything she says," I tell Cody. "She's obviously mentally handicapped."

"Disregarding," Cody promises. "And you don't have to give this too much thought, bud. It's not like you're getting married. You don't even have to date whoever you choose." He shrugs. "It's just one kiss, right?"

"Because you're the expert on kissing girls," I say sarcastically. "I noticed your clumsy attempts at Gwen didn't go over so well."

"Heheh," Cody rubs his arm and averts his gaze. "Well, that's just because she already had her eye on someone else."

"Either way, I doubt you've ever seen any action." I seem to have hit the nail right on the head, because Cody looks thoroughly embarrassed.

"Trust me, dude. I have seen _plen_-ty of action. The ladies love me. Back home, I'm one popular guy. I can't keep their hands off me! They're always calling me and asking me out…"

He tries to act all cool about it by putting his hands behind his head and leaning back. Unfortunately for him, there's nothing behind him but cement.

I grab the front of his shirt before he hits the ground, and he looks stunned that there was nothing back there to support him.

"You were saying?" I raise a single eyebrow.

"Oh yeah," Cody straightens his shirt out. "The ladies love me. There's this one girl from my school…"

I should have let him fall.


	4. Zombies! The Musical

**Hello, Hello**

**Chapter Three**

**Zombie! The Musical**

I end up going with Eva.

There are several reasons for this. She is possibly the only friend I've made in my time during this reality show, unless you count Izzy. I'm not even sure I count Izzy, but that's beside the point. The fact that I regard Eva as a friend is amazing, given the fact that I did not intend, nor desire to make friends here. I mean, it's a competition. I'm here to win. Or, I _was_ here to win, until I lost. Anyway, as my friend, Eva might be willing to help me in my time of need.

The second reason? Eva hates Justin as much as I do. We have discussions about him, and by "discussions" I mean we bash him. This is also another reason why I enjoy her company. Plus, there are not many people who appreciate my cynicism around here. They say I'm "too negative."

A third reason: Eva is also not very popular here. Her bad temper scares other people away—Cody's reaction to her is a case in point. Like me, she came into this competition seeing it as it was: _a competition_, and not a competition to see how many friends you can make. A competition where it's necessary to stomp the opponents around you, and that's how I've been treating them. Too bad. They don't like me. I'm not losing sleep over it.

So, combine these three reasons. Eva is a friend who hates the person who challenged me in the first place, and how often is she going to get the chance to kiss anyone here when they are afraid of her?

It sounds like a perfect set-up.

Cody thinks I'm crazy.

"Why her?" He looks like he's going to wet his pants just thinking about her. He's wincing as if I proposed that she break my back, and not kiss me.

I explain to him my reasons for choosing her. He still seems dubious.

"But what if she takes you seriously, dude?"

"Why would she take me seriously? She's a lesbian and I'm…" I trail off. "I'm not interested in her beyond a platonic nature."

"If you say so," Cody says, but his tone implies that he really thinks Eva is going to take me seriously.

"I plan on being upfront with her about it. She won't take it seriously."

By this time, Cody and I have left the buffet area and are now sitting beneath the shade of a tree. Cody is sitting with his legs stretched out before him, leaning back on his hands and he is facing me. I'm sitting with my back against the trunk of the tree, one leg raised to cradle the book I am currently reading. Or I would be reading, if Cody hadn't stalked me here. I have no idea where Izzy is now, but I welcome the "did" and "gay" -free air.

"Shouldn't you be worried about what Justin's doing?"

I guess because Cody was there when Justin issued the challenge, he thinks he needs to hang around until it's all over. I can't think of another reason why he's suddenly attached himself to me. Well, I can think of a few, but they are all highly improbable.

"I'm not worried about Justin." I turn the page of my book. "His chances of finding a guy around here to kiss him are nil. Just think about it."

"Maybe he'll try some kind of trick? Or bribery?"

"What's he going to do? Take off his shirt and smile? That's not going to appeal much to a guy."

"Maybe…" Cody says. His bluish-green eyes go distant, and I can tell he's thinking deeply about it. Why does he care so much whether I win or lose? It's my pride at stake, not his.

"Oh, I get it." I smirk.

"Get what?" Cody snaps out of his thoughts.

"You think helping me with this is going to somehow absolve you of the guilt. From when you didn't back me up about the incident, don't you?"

"Wait, what?" Cody screws up his face in confusion. "That's not what this is about."

"Sure. And grizzlies don't attack unless provoked."

Cody winces. "If those berries were really his, he shouldn't have been so mad. I tried to give them back!"

I find this amusing.

Before I can tell him to either get lost so I can read, or get this paranoid idea that Justin's scheming out of his head, we hear Chris's infamous voice over a loudspeaker.

"Attention all losers," he's saying. "Gather around the pool's mini bar. I have a little… announcement to make in ten minutes."

Cody and I exchange glances.

"What's this about?" Cody asks.

"I don't know. Another camper eliminated?"

"I guess we should see what's up."

**+Ten Minutes Later+**

We've been sitting at the mini bar for the last ten minutes and Chris is still nowhere in sight. The others are getting restless. I, however, am content. I sit on my stool, book open. Cody is sitting next to me, and I'm aware that he's reading over my shoulder. I don't really mind. His interest shows he's at least somewhat intelligent.

"Maybe he's not coming," Lindsay says.

"I'm sure he's just drawing his arrival out for dramatic effect," I respond in an uninterested tone, turning the page. I vaguely wonder if Cody has been keeping in time with me, or if I read too fast for him, but I don't ask. I want him to think I'm not on to him. At least, for the moment.

"Ah, you know me too well." Chris steps out of the shadows, his hands behind his back.

"Why do I get the feeling I don't want to hear what you have to say?" I wonder aloud, eying his missing hands with suspicion.

"What've you got behind you?" DJ wants to know.

"Funny you should ask that." Chris smiles his evil smile and produces…what looks to be a stack of papers. Nobody is prepared for this. Everyone starts breaking out with questions all at once. I go back to reading.

"These are scripts."

"Ooh, scripts!" Lindsay claps her hands together. "Wait. For what?"

"A play."

Again, everyone starts talking at the same time.

"They're way too excited about this," I mutter.

"Do we all have to be in it?" Beth asks. "Or can we do something else, like set design?"

"Ooh! I can do lighting!" Harold proclaims.

"Settle down, settle down," Chris says. "We need order around here. And yes, you all have to be in it. It's a musical."

This is greeted with mixed reactions. Some of them sound excited, but I hear a few of them going, "Aw, a musical?" I shake my head. Whatever. I can handle this. I don't get stage fright, and if I take a small part, I won't have to work very hard. This will be cake.

Chris starts handing out the scripts, and he announces that there won't be any auditions held. He and Chef Hatchet have already discussed and chosen roles for each of us. That brings my head up. I take my script, hoping I don't have a large part in this. I start to skim the page in search of my role when I see the title. And groan.

"You can't be serious." I frown as I lock eyes with the host. "Zombies! The Musical? Did you write this?"

"I did. And now… I want you all to perform it. Have fun practicing. I expect a five star performance next week."

With that, he leaves us.

I refuse to even bother with the script. I roll it up and start to toss it over my shoulder and into the water.

"Look at this, man!" Cody says. "Our characters die together!"

I look over the edge of my book. Cody looks excited. I, however, don't want anything to do with this stupid play. I think I'll treat it much the same way as I did the whole dodgeball event. Cody seems to sense this.

"Aw, come on, Noah," he wheedles. "It's not even a whole play. Look. It's basically just a skit."

He thumbs through the pages. There really don't seem to be many.

"There are only three songs."

"I hope I'm not expected to sing in any of those." I unroll my own script. It looks like the only singing and dancing I'm going to be doing are with the others. No solos. I'll just pretend to sing while everyone else does all the work. I'm not all that interested in this whole thing, so I start to tuck the script away at the back of my book and continue reading when Cody says something. It sounds suspiciously like my name, spoken too hesitantly.

"What?" I growl. This is starting to get irritating. Can't he see I want to get back to my literature and pretend this whole place doesn't exist?

"Um, well, it's just… You're not going to like this…" Cody starts. He looks pale and he's making that cringing face of his. He's twisting his script around in both his hands. What can be so terrible that Cody is freaking out about it? Before I can voice the query, Justin is standing in front of us. He looks full of himself, as usual. A smirk graces his tanned face. I just know this means bad news.

"Well, well," Justin says. "It looks like I'll be winning the challenge." He wags his rolled script at me. I narrow my eyes.

"What makes you so sure about that?"

"Eeeh, Noah…" Cody sounds anxious. I spare a glance at him. He's anxiety personified. He looks like he has something important to tell me. I decide it can wait.

"Just a minute, Cody." I wave him off and turn back to Justin. "Well? Do you have some kind of photograph? No? Let me guess, you bribed one of the girls into playing "witness" for you? I thought you knew the rules. No coercion, manipulation, or coaxing. Remember? And I do believe that bribery constitutes coaxing."

"Oh no. Nothing like that." Justin blinds me with a shining white smile as he gestures at the script. "I can't believe a know-it-all like you doesn't already know. In any case, you lose. This challenge will be mine. See you at the play, _mi amour_."

As he saunters off, I look down at my script. I know this much; his allusions are all pointing to the script. The answers must be in here.

"That Neanderthal," I mutter as I start looking through the script. "He thinks he can pull one over on me? Now, what did you want, Cody?"

"I'll save you a lot of time looking through the script," Cody answers. "According to Chris's script..."

I look up, my gaze meets Cody's.

"…You're going to have to kiss Justin."

**+Half an Hour Later+**

"How far do his clutches reach?" I ask Cody. We're in Cody's room at the resort. Each room accommodates two people, and Cody is lucky enough to be sharing with Harold. Normally, I'd say this was very _unlucky_—given his penchant for leaving dirty underwear out, but since Harold is still hiding from Courtney, we have the room all to ourselves—as opposed to mine, where Geoff and Bridgette can't keep their hands off one another.

I am pacing as I speak. Cody is perched on the edge of his bed, watching me. My script and book lie on Cody's dresser. Cody's script is beside him on the bed. His blue-green eyes are wide as they watch me. He's trying to calm me down.

"Maybe Chris won't notice if you don't do it?"

"How will he not notice? He's the one who wrote the stupid thing!"

"Well, maybe you can switch your role with somebody else."

"Who?" I demand. I stop pacing and stand directly in front of Cody. I cross my arms and give him my best piercing stare. Cody withers under it.

"I-I dunno. I could take your place."

"That's a very sweet sentiment, Cody, really it is," I say, sarcasm dripping from every word. "But Chris specifically chose the roles. I think he's going to notice any last minute changes to the cast. No. I'm pretty damn sure that Justin and Chris are somehow planning this together. It explains why this play was suddenly sprung on us; right after Justin issued the challenge. He probably set the whole thing up from the beginning. Perhaps even with Izzy's help…" I pause, recalling Cody's earlier concerns that Justin was plotting something. "Great. Your paranoia has now rubbed off on me. Congratulations."

I sit down heavily next to Cody.

"You haven't lost yet," Cody points out. "All you have to do is get a girl to kiss you before the play."

He's right, of course. I haven't even attempted asking Eva yet. I wonder if telling her it's a practice kiss for the show would work within the rules… Maybe I should throw the rules out the window. What are the chances of Justin finding out, anyway? There is always a way to work around the rules.

"There's no point getting worked up over this," I decide. I was—and still am—pissed off at Justin for doing this to me, but as Cody so kindly reminded me, I haven't lost yet. "If he's going to scheme, then so am I."

I grab Cody's script, where it sits between us. "First, I need to learn the material. Cody, you play Justin's character."

Cody scrambles up and snatches my script. "All right, but what about my character? I still have my own lines to memorize."

"We'll get to that later." I find my first lines, in which I am evidently arguing with my lover—played by Justin. I twist my mouth into a scowl. "How twisted can Chris be? Making us gay lovers?"

"Heheh," Cody laughs that odd laugh of his. "He did say he's watching us all the time."

"What a creep. Okay, let's do this…" I clear my throat and begin reading the lines. "'You can't go out there, Frank. It's too dangerous! Zombies are everywhere.'"

I can't believe this. Not only do I have to play _Justin's_ gay lover, I also have to be the whiny, emotionally needy one? Ugh. I can't be more disgusted than I am right now. Maybe I should think seriously about suing Chris for defamation.

"'Nah, it'll be all right. I can handle myself,'" Cody reads in a falsely deep voice. He flexes one scrawny arm. "These muscles aren't just for show, you know… Baby.'"

"That sounded convincing," I say dryly. Cody looks embarrassed.

"It's weird calling a dude baby, heheh," Cody says.

"I can't argue there. Baby." I smirk. Cody flushes pink. "On second thought, I don't think it was that hard."

For some reason, it gives me pleasure to tease Cody. It makes me feel like I'm in charge again, instead of feeling helpless about this Justin situation.

"I didn't say it was hard. Just weird." Cody's gaze falls from my face and down to the script. He rubs his arm. He's clearly still embarrassed. I sigh.

"Back to business." I find my next line. I can't believe it. These lines are so _cheesy_. The fact that I have to say them to Justin is only going to make it worse. Good thing I don't care how I look onstage. I can just deliver the lines deadpan. That will teach Chris to put me in a romantic role. All right, well, I better get to it…

"'I know, _honey_,'" I read with amusement. I'm supposed to grab my partner around the waist, hold him close, and kiss him. So I do. I grab Cody around the waist and pull him forward, which elicits a surprised noise from him. He drops my script but I don't care. We're face to face. He's practically in my lap and staring at me. His mouth is half open. I stare down at him, still smirking, despite the fact that my heartbeat is drumming in my ears. It's all I can hear, and Cody is all I can see. I swear I can feel his heartbeat, too. His body is warm against mine. I can smell his shampoo.

My smirk disappears.

"'I know, honey,'" I repeat my line, trying to remember the one that comes after it. My voice has gone all low and husky. Cody trembles. "'But I'll miss you when you're gone…'"

I don't consciously make the effort to close the distance between our lips, it just happens. My body just seems to move forward of its own accord. Our lips finally meet, touching gently. _Too gently_, I find myself thinking in frustration. I feel Cody's hand on my knee, gripping it tightly. I pull him closer, kissing him harder. He makes a small whimpering noise that only makes me want to kiss him more. His mouth is open to me. I press closer to him, heat coursing through my body.

Cody's hand is on my chest. Is he trying to push me away?

I register what the hell I am doing.

And_ I_ push away.

"Whuh?" Cody breathes. He looks confused and unsteady. His eyes are dark with lust. Or maybe that's just my wishful thinking. I lean down and grab my script.

"Guess I over-did it." I manage to sound completely calm and collected when I speak. I thrust his own script at him. Cody takes it, looking bewildered. "Think it'll work on Eva?"

"Uh… Um, heheh, yeah! Of course. Why wouldn't it? I mean, it would work on any of the ladies."

"I'm not so sure about that."

I'm really not. But I'm not telling Cody that.


	5. This Web I Weave

**Hello, Hello**

**Chapter Five**

**This Web I Weave**

I kissed Cody.

I am still reeling from it, hours later, while I lie on my back in my bed.

I can't believe my own actions. I'm shocked at how well I played my own part. Not my part in the play. The part where I lie to everyone about my sexuality.

You see… I've even been lying to you. Whoever you are.

I'm gay. I've known for years now. Some people back home even know. However, not _everyone_ knows, and I'd rather not broadcast my preferences and sexual deviations all over national television before I've had a chance to tell these ignorant people in my life. Some who may or may not be my own family.

_I kissed Cody. _

What am I supposed to do now? Obviously, I'm not going to do a thing. I still have to find Eva and persuade her to let me kiss her and Cody doesn't know that the kiss I gave him was actually meant for him. He still thinks it was an experiment in my attempts at winning this foolish challenge with Justin.

If it was anyone else, I would have abandoned the challenge, but I can't let Justin get away with this. So I must persevere and rub it in his smug, chiseled face that just because he thinks he was gifted with good looks, doesn't mean he's going to coast on them for the rest of his life. Intelligence trumps appearance one hundred percent of the time. Perhaps that percentage is inaccurate, but the point here is, beauty fades. Intelligence and wisdom only grow stronger with time.

Actually, intelligence doesn't really grow. Knowledge does. Intelligence is actually a measure of how well you retain the knowledge you collect through life. Are you still with me?

I don't find Justin appealing. I think by this time, you've realized where my interests lie. I can't figure out why Cody's such a point of interest, though. Can you? He's cute enough, I suppose. Something about that little gap is endearing. The color of his eyes…He's smart, too. The only problem is, he's also obsessed with being cool. Shudder. Maybe this worries me a little because I'm not what one would classify as cool. Then again, neither is Gwen. There really is no accounting for taste.

This applies to me, too.

Why can't I get him out of my head? It's slowly driving me crazy. He initially came to my attention because of his apparent intelligence amongst a sea of dopes and shallow types. Then he's off pretending to be cool. It's difficult to truly wrap my head around what exactly Cody is trying to be. Is he trying to slough off his intelligence just so that he can gain some previously withheld attention from his slobbering, directionless peers? Does he pretend he's as dumb as they are?

I know he's not stupid. Naïve. A little childish. Somewhat immature. But stupid? Is it just me? Am I merely phasing that part out because I'm desperately hoping to find something in him that may not even exist? No. It can't be that, either. The point is, I wasn't looking to hook up, I wasn't looking for a fling, a romance, a _boyfriend_. Not here. Chances are, anything that happens here won't continue outside the show. Oh, maybe there would be a few calls, letters, emails, texts, etcetera. After a time, however, I firmly believe that any spark of romance would be forgotten, especially in light of the new people we'll all inevitably meet when we attend University.

Perhaps that's a little optimistic. After all, I don't even think half these people will be attending University. They would never pass the entrance exams. One look over their transcripts. Pah. They probably don't even have any extracurricular activities. Unless you count walking each other home from school and hanging out with their friends. Well, this is excepting Courtney. She has, on several occasions, liked to rub it in that she's been a this, and she's been a that, and she does this, and she does that. I honestly don't know whether she does that for herself or for family, or just to make everyone around her feel inferior. Good job on the last one, Courtney. Although, of course, I don't feel at all inferior in comparison with her.

Ahem. I do have a habit if digressing.

Thing is, I feel…_something_ for Cody. Something I'd rather not feel. Even if nothing else I've said so far didn't matter, there is always this one last fact. Cody likes girls. He talks a lot about girls. He ogles girls. He had (perhaps still has) a crush as big as Justin's horsey teeth on Gwen.

This is a fact that I simply can't forget. I watched him flounder after her and I admit to being amused at his failing. Now I feel as if I'm the Cody in this situation. Is it so awful to want to seek a hiding place now? I mean, I don't want to be the Cody in this situation. Let's not forget: he _failed_.

I dislike failing. I like excelling. But let's think here. Logically. How does one excel at getting the guy? There aren't many books on the subject. Well, actually, there are more these days than there have ever been, but many are very subtle, and even more are strictly erotic in nature. Not many seem to have a serious handle on the situation. I suppose because most of us so love to hide in our closets.

I don't want to lose. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

**+The Day After the Kiss+**

I have agonized too long. I haven't seen Cody all day, and it's past noon. I would seek him out, but I have a different target in mind at the moment.

"Eva!" I clap a hand to her shoulder and she throws me her usual death glare. She is sitting at the little bar by the pool, accompanied by Tyler, Lindsay, and Courtney. The latter seems rather annoyed at me for interrupting whatever important accomplishment she had been regaling them with. As if those two gibbering morons were really listening. I'm sure they were waiting for a moment like this so they could slip off to make out. "A moment, please?"

Eva snorts and leaves the bar behind to follow me over to the empty lounge chairs. I sit. She doesn't.

"What's this about?" She places her hands on her hips and regards me steadily.

"Eva, would you mind kissing me?"

She stares. I wait. She stares some more. I'm starting to become uncomfortable. Oh god. Cody was right. She's going to kill me. She's still staring at me. I open my mouth.

"You know what, I actually," I start, but I'm interrupted. She bursts out into uproarious laughter. I can't help myself. I gape. Why is she laughing? Doesn't she see how utterly serious I'm being? She sits down heavily on the chair across from me. So heavily, in fact, that she nearly flips the thing on end. I close my mouth, gritting my teeth. This wasn't going at all the way I'd envisioned. Perhaps I should have started off with an explanation.

"You're joking, right?" Eva gasps, holding her side. I seem to have a hilarious effect on women. I should consider a career in comedy. _Not_.

"I'm aware that it's a humorous proposition," I say drily, in an attempt to cover my embarrassment. "But I'm completely serious."

For some reason, this sets her off again. As frustrating as this is, there is a bright side. I've never before seen Eva in such good spirits. She rarely smiles. Let alone laughs. One irritating side effect to this, though, is that we're getting unwanted looks from the other ex-campers. I'm sure they're highly curious as to how a sarcastic book geek managed to make the buff fitness guru laugh her ass off. Well, get in line, troglodytes. I don't even know how I managed that one.

Shall I explain to you what a troglodyte is? It's basically a nice way to call somebody a caveman. I recommend calling your local jock that some time. The confusion on his face will probably amuse you greatly. They have a hard time processing new words. He might even think you're complimenting him. _Is that French or something?_

It means you're below my notice, genius. That's what it means.

Where was I? Right. Eva laughing at the very mention of my lips meeting hers. And then it occurs to me. Justin never specified just what kind of kiss this had to be. Only that a girl had to kiss me. I sit up straighter. With so many eyes on us, there's no way Justin can deny this.

"Eva. Kiss me," I hiss, beckoning her toward me. "Just kiss me on the head, or the cheek, or wherever. It doesn't matter."

I watch her expectantly. She seems to have sobered up. She shakes her head.

"Why?"

"Never mind why. Just do it, before everyone stops looking."

A flash of annoyance crosses her face. I guess that was the wrong thing to say. I've learned a lesson today: never demand a girl to kiss you because others are watching.

"If this is about that stupid fight between you and Izzy, leave me out of it. I don't care if you're gay, straight, or like bananas. I'm not kissing you to prove some point to the others."

"Why the hell not?" I narrow my eyes. "I'd do it for you, if you asked."

"Would you really?" Eva's tone of disbelief is not lost on me. Have I really acted like anything less than ally for her cause? Whatever that may be. "Besides, I think you have some issues to work out. You told me to work on my anger, and I have. Now it's your turn."

She pats me on the shoulder and stands up.

"What _issues_ are you blathering about?"

She gives me a sad shake of her head. "If you don't already know, than you're more of a fool than I thought."

I glower at her retreating back. Is she kidding me? Did she just call me a _fool_? That's it. Apparently that measure wasn't drastic enough.

Now what am I going to do?

**+That Night+**

I'm sure now that I'm going to lose to Justin. Eva denied me. Izzy denied me before that. The rest of the girls here just aren't an option. What am I going to do? Losing to Justin is a lot more humiliating than kissing a girl. Truthfully, kissing a girl doesn't even bother me. Especially now that I have that little loophole. It need not be a French kiss, or a kiss on the lips at all. I could simply have a girl plant her lips on me. Anywhere. Within the confines of our rules, I could even use a butterfly kiss or an Eskimo kiss. Hah. Yet this is so humorless, I almost feel like throwing myself a little pity party. Wah, poor Noah can't get a girl to bring her lips within thirty yards of him. Boo hoo.

I can't stay in my room, not while those two are in there. So I go to the beach, feeling tired and listless and entirely without hope. I plop down into the cool sand. Further down the beach, I can hear Izzy singing and splashing. I'm not sure, but it sounds like she's found Harold. I listen.

"Gosh! Just leave me alone!"

"Aw, were you hiding? Harold was hiding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Gind. I can make my own language!"

"Stop splashing me! You're getting water in my glasses. Gosh!"

Yes. That's definitely Harold. Grimly, I rest my head on my arms. I sit like that, legs drawn up, elbows on my knees, for quite some time. Staring out at the glittering ocean and thinking I can understand why it brings out the poetic side of people. Where did that come from? I'm not a significant fan of poetry. At least most of it. Not Emily Dickinson or her kin, anyway. Why do people like her, anyway? She's just stringing nonsense together. I prefer Sylvia Plath or Oscar Wilde. John Donne. Things like that. With deep meaning. Not that whimsical, flowery type.

"Y-Doc! D O C. Docy. What're _you _doing here?" I hear a tell-tale giggle. I glance in the direction of Izzy and Harold. Cody is coming from a stand of trees in that general area. Hm. And what was he doing over there? Trailing behind him is… Beth?! I frown. As the pair draws closer, Beth leans in close to Cody and says something I can't hear. Cody smiles and nods and she gives him a little wave as she walks back to her room.

I notice that Izzy and Harold have suddenly become scarce. I am more than willing to bet he'd slunk off while she was distracted. As for Izzy… She's playing spy. I'm sure of it. Cody, meanwhile, edges over to me, looking sheepish and oddly eager.

"Noah, buddy," he says as he crouches beside me. I tense, wary of his overly casual tone. _Why is he talking to me? After avoiding me all day?_

"Cody, buddy," I reply sarcastically. "What? Are you hoping I'm taking notes on your suave moves with the ladies? I promise I'm not thinking about slaking my insatiable need for men on you." _Liar._

"Huh?" Cody jolts back like I'm physically pushing him away with my words. Which is possible. Or maybe he just doesn't understand my words.

"In caveman speak," I begin for his benefit, but Cody waves my words off.

"I was just talking to Beth and—"

"I could see that. I'm not blind."

"Dude, listen, I—wait, what? Did you just say your insatiable need for men?"

"No, I said my insatiable need for a duckbilled platypus. _Yes_, I said _men_. It's my understanding there's this thing called a sense of humor. You might want to acquire one. Or at least learn the art of sarcasm when it's being used against you."

Cody blinks owlishly at me. So sue me for thinking that it's kind of cute.

"You were saying?" I prompt him.

"Noah, are you…?" Cody squirms, like he doesn't really want to ask me. I know what he's asking—or trying to ask, anyway, but I decide to make it difficult for him.

"Am I what?"

"Uh, weeell," Cody says, drawing the last word out as he darts his blue-green gaze about. My own stays on him, waiting for him to just ask. I can't seem to make up my mind. Should I tell him the truth, or just keep denying it? He's rubbing his arm in embarrassment. "Heheh. Never mind. Back to what I was saying."

Colour me disappointed. Or not. At least I don't have any choices to make. For now. Does Cody think I'm gay based on that sarcastic comment of mine alone? Because if he thought I was gay prior to that, such as, I don't know, when I kissed him? I don't understand why he's still talking to me, and friendly as ever, at that.

"I saw Eva turn you down."

Now it's my turn to blink. "You saw that?" Great. He saw my spectacular fail. I hope he liked watching himself in action.

"Yeah." Cody gives me a commiserating smile. "I can't believe she didn't slug you!"

"I'm sure you were waiting."

"Nah. I mean, kinda, but mostly because I was worried you were going to get beat up. She's pretty strong, you know? Anyway, Noah, I was talking to Beth about your problem—"

"No." I say flat out. Because I know where this is going.

"Noah, come on. It's not that big a deal. She even agreed to do it. In front of everyone, so Justin can't blow it off."

"Beth?" I raise an eyebrow.

"I can ask Sadie. Or Katie." He looks hopeful.

Why am I suddenly being so picky when only a moment ago, I was in the pit of despair? Hadn't I been telling myself anyone would be fine at this point?

"Why are you so bent on helping me?"

"Why not?" Cody appears uncomfortable. If his arm rubbing habit hadn't been so obvious, maybe I wouldn't even have noticed.

"Just answer the question."

"I thought we were friends," he mumbles with a shrug. "Friends help each other."

"Uh-huh. Really. That's all?"

Cody meets my gaze. "Why won't you believe me? Dude, you're so paranoid."

"You're not working for Justin, are you?" I narrow my eyes. Maybe I am paranoid, but he's the one who started it.

"I am not working for Justin." He says it all solemn-like, as if he's sitting in church swearing a vow to his dying grandmother. He even puts his hand up. Boy Scout's honor.

"I just bet you were one hell of a Boy Scout." I smirk.

"But I wasn't."

"All right. So Beth." I square up my shoulders. "I suppose…" I wrinkle my nose. "She'll have to do." Kissing Beth was a far better thing than losing a challenge to Justin. "You should let her know, though, that it doesn't have to be a kiss on the lips."

Cody eyes me quizzically and I continue.

"It's a loophole. It wasn't specified what kind of kiss it had to be. Just that we were to be kissed by somebody. In my case a girl. In his, a guy."

Cody makes a funny face and I immediately feel my guard going up again.

"What?"

"He talked to me today. He seems pretty confident. You should know. He's offering to get whichever guy kisses him a girl."

"_What_?!" I grab Cody by the shoulders. "You didn't!"

"No, but… Somebody will. Just take the kiss from Beth, Noah."

My grip on Cody's shoulders tighten. "First thing tomorrow."

"I'll let her know."

I let go of Cody's shoulders. "Hm. Thanks. Buddy." I smirk.

Oddly enough, I still feel some kind of misgivings. Could Cody be working for the other side? If so, why would Cody bring his tactics to my attention? Could it be because Justin is using manipulation and coaxing…? Looks like I'm going to have a big day tomorrow. Between confronting Justin and kissing Beth, not to mention practicing for that dreadful play…

Ugh. I foresee trouble.


	6. I Did WHAT?

**Hello, Hello**

**Chapter Five**

**I did WHAT?**

I can't believe I'm going to be doing this. Of all the people in the world to agree to kiss… Beth? I shudder at the thought. I don't sleep easier for knowing that I will be winning the challenge come tomorrow morning. I still can't get the picture of Beth's cringe worthy… geekiness out of my head. I mean, Cody's a geek, but Beth takes it overboard. It's not even just that she has, like no fashion sense whatsoever. Pink and green? Really, honey? What are you? Sixty? Or that she's got those stupid braces. She keeps saying she's getting rid of them, so they don't quite count. It's her insufferable little personality.

Is it awful of me to prefer snakes like Heather to freaks like Beth? Even though Heather is basically a female version of Justin? Or…she was, before she went all Joe Dirt on us. I mean, Heather has some confidence. Beth is all awkward and geeky.

Fretting over a kiss from Beth. What's wrong with me? Besides, isn't she basically what Cody would be like if he'd been born female? Not quite… He's painfully awkward, too, but at least he's trying… Trying what? To be anybody other than himself? Sometimes I think he's got some denial issues, too.

Turning over in my bed, ignoring the sounds of the Couple, I close my eyes. Eventually… Eventually, sleep takes me.

**+The Next Morning+**

"Nnnggghhh…" I groan into my pillow. God, is it morning already? Feels like I only just fell asleep. I peel my eyes open and rest my chin on the pillow I'm clutching to my body, long-ways, like a surfboard. It's so hot inside the cabin that my chest feels damp against the fabric. I stay in my current position for a moment, listening for sounds of Barbie and Ken, but all is quiet. I can hear seagulls and the waves lapping up on the shore nearby. Peaceful. Peaceful enough to lull me back to sleep. I close my eyes…

There is a soft rapping noise on the screen door. I ignore it, but then…

"Noah…? Are you awake yet?" Cody. I open my eyes. He sounds nervous. Okay, when does he not sound nervous? When he's pretending to be oh-so-cool? I turn my head towards the door.

"Unfortunately…" I grumble, closing my eyes. Cody seems to take this as my assent that he can walk in. I hear the squeak of the door opening and the slam of it closing—presumably behind Cody. A soft little gasp, and my eyes crack open again. I pull myself out of the land of slumber and sit up.

"Did I wake you up?" Cody is rubbing his arm and looking away. Is it just my imagination dredged up from recently dusting off my dreams, or… Is he blushing? I look down at myself. I had gone to bed in my underwear. Hey, it was hot, and I really doubted that the couple with eyes only for each other were looking _my_ way.

"It's just underwear," I say dryly. Cody just shrugs and that nervous laugh escapes him again. It's kinda cute, I decide. A cute laugh. I annoy myself with that little thought, but it's not like he can hear them. I reach over and grab my pants, pulling them on. "So… What did you come to wake me up for, other than getting a look at me in my underwear?"

"I-I didn't!" Cody squeaks while I tug my shirt over my head.

"Relax. You really need to learn what sarcasm is." I smirk. "Or is it because I hit the nail on the head?"

Cody doesn't seem willing to stay on this track, and I can't blame him. I'm also wondering if I really did hit some kind of nerve. It's hard to tell with Cody, because he gets so nervous about the dumbest things.

"No, I came by to make sure you do… what you said you'd do."

I pull a face. "Ugh. Beth."

"She's really not that…"

"Cody. Would _you_ kiss her?"

Cody goes silent. I watch his blue-green eyes, his expression is turned inward and I can tell he's actually giving it some thought. For me, it doesn't take much thought. It simply is one of the most disgusting things I've ever been made to do. Then I wonder why he has to think about it. I open my mouth to tell him how amusing this is, when he looks up.

"I don't know… She's more like friend material, dude. But… I'd definitely do it to get Justin off my back and I think you should, too."

I sigh and pull my shoes on.

"All right then. It's D day."

**+About Half an Hour Later+**

Cody and I are sitting at the juice bar, and Beth is still nowhere to be seen. I check the clock for the hundredth time.

"I'm here," I say, with a pointed look at Cody. "Where is she?"

Dare I think it? Maybe she's just as against this as I am. Hm. I wonder why I didn't think of that one sooner. I tap my fingers against the counter in my impatience. She may hate the idea, but I suppose that's a good thing. It means she won't be getting any ideas that it means anything…

"I'm sure she'll be along pretty soon…" Cody says, but then he's trailing off and his eyes are looking past me. Even as I turn around, I know who's standing there. Letting out a sigh, I slowly turn around to face my favorite (dubious title) nemesis.

"Ah… Justin. What are you doing here?" I steeple my fingers like some kind of Bond villain. Although, _so_ not fair. I should be Bond. He should be the stupid villain who keeps throwing predictable plans my way (plans that I foil—muwahahaha!). That's what he's doing now, right? He's come here to rub in the fact that he's actually managed to persuade one of the other campers to kiss him. That gets my attention, completely wiping the smirk off my face. I narrow my eyes. "Seriously. What're you doing here, Justin?"

Justin tilts his head upward, wearing the brand of cocky smile only a guy like him can get away with. You know the kind I mean, right? The kind that makes you wonder how he has any fans at all. The kind that makes you wish your punch could actually cause some damage, because if it could, you'd punch that pretty smile off his pretty little face… Ahem! I do mean that in the most hypothetical of situations. If I'm any kind of man at all, I'd say I'm a pacifist. I don't say this merely because I have a strong sense of self-preservation, either. In the end, what does violence really solve? Not much. But I will admit this much: it would feel _damn_ good to cause Justin some serious heartache.

Also… Did I mention that I rather like seeing people fight each other? As long as I'm not involved. (Unless you count as the shadowy hand of fate, pulling the strings…) Watching the smirk on Justin's face, I actually start to worry. He hasn't! Has he?

"You can't promise a girl for any boy who kisses you," I say, breaking the silence once more. I'm aggravated by Justin's silence. Now he's gazing between me… and Cody. I glance at Cody, who shrugs. Just what is going on here? Justin finally speaks.

"I believe this challenge is unnecessary. You've proven yourself—once again—that you've kissed Cody."

"What? I did what?" I cross my arms. "Did not."

"I beg to differ. There's irrefutable proof. First, the cameras caught you kissing his ear at that old challenge, and now, Izzy caught you kissing his lips."

"You can't believe anything Izzy says. She's insane."

"Oh, she didn't have to_ say_ anything."

Okay. Now I'm really starting to worry. What is he going on about? I exchange a look with Cody, who still appears as clueless as I am. We both know we kissed, but I'd rather pretend it never happened. Cody doesn't seem very eager to say anything on the subject, either. When I say nothing to Justin—because I know he's waiting for me to say "prove it," he finally pulls out a photograph and waves it in front of my face. I don't have to look at it to know what it is. But I look, anyway.

"We were practicing!" Cody interjects. "For the musical. That doesn't count as anything!"

This is met with approval from me, though I can't currently relay this. I smirk at Justin.

"Anything else?"

Justin can't seem to think of an argument, but I can tell this isn't over. He points at me in a threatening manner, then shakes his head.

"If you can get a boy to kiss you, then it will be cake for me," he finally says. Which surprises me. It's almost as if he really feels this is a competition now. Off he goes and I look at Cody.

"That was genius, Cody."

"Nah. No problem. Kinda helped me out, too." But he raises his hand to slap mine all the same.

**+Several Hours Later+**

Beth is still nowhere to be found. I'm starting to think she's swooned over Justin. She can be easily bought and that annoys and worries me. At the same time, I'm starting to wish he would just kiss a guy and get this over with. It really does seem easier for us to be our natural selves. Me kissing boys. Him kissing girls. I let out a sigh and stretch.

I'm lying in the sun on a lounge chair, even though I know I should be practicing my lines. Cody is lying in the chair next to me. I glance over at him, and I see he's sitting propped up on one elbow, one hand lifting his shades as he squints off into the horizon somewhere.

"What are you looking at?" I ask, sounding more annoyed than I feel. It must be all the stress of this stupid contest.

"Uh…" Is Cody's articulate answer. Do you know the word articulate? Basically, it means… Ah, go look it up in a dictionary. I'm feeling impatient right now. I sit up and lift my own sunglasses. Whenever Cody is speechless, there's always a reason for it. Usually a good one. Unless he's been attacked by a bear, which really isn't a good reason so much as a tragic one. Hah. Hah… Anyway, my gaze goes to Beth and she's on the phone with somebody. She's smiling and chattering away, as if we didn't have something to do today! Annoyed, I start to get up and Cody's after me, telling me to just leave it alone.

"Uh, excuse me? She ditched me all day with no excuse and now she's over there, acting like none of it matters? You can bet I'm going to give her a piece of my mind!"

Even as I'm marching over with Cody a few paces behind, she's getting off the phone. She looks at me, and for a moment, she's still wearing that happy smile. Then she seems to register my expression and hers goes all "Oh." That's right, "Oh!"

"Forget something today?" I say.

"Um… Maybe, kinda, but… I had a good reason!"

"And what's that?"

"I got my braces taken off today and I met the dreamiest—"

"I don't care if you met Albert Einsten. You had an obligation and you skipped out. Now, are we going to do this or not?"

She is twisting her hands together and looking away from me. This isn't a good sign.

"Actually," she says. "I have a boyfriend now. I can't kiss you."

Before I can tell her what I think of this, she is gone. Just like that. Speechless, I turn to Cody. He shrugs.

"I told you she's not that bad."


	7. TAKE IT PERSONAL

**Hello, Hello**

**Chapter Six**

**TAKE IT PERSONAL**

"So… Crossing off this one and this one, you have… Well, you don't have many left to choose from." Cody is standing in front of a white board, a green marker in hand. There are scribbles all over the white board. Girl's names are crossed out. My list is becoming smaller and that white board is glaring at me, telling me what a fool I've been. Cody was right from the beginning. I've been too picky and Justin could be sweeping a boy off his feet right this moment.

I sit back in my seat, crossing my arms. I want to argue with him. I want to say I'm not so pathetic that it won't take me much to get a kiss from any of these "lovely" ladies. I can't argue, though. I know he's right. There aren't many left to choose from.

"Lindsay," I finally say. Cody blinks and lowers his hand. He was about to scribble something else onto the board.

"What?"

"Lindsay," I repeat, sounding more annoyed. I hate repeating myself. I lift a finger. "She's stupid. All it will take is a simple trick, and I want you there to photograph it."

I stand up and hand Cody a camera. He looks down at it like he's never seen one in his life.

"O-okay." He lifts it to his face as if to try it out. I wonder. Is this going to work? I suppose we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?

"Let's go," I say, determined to get this done. Now. Marching across the spa with Cody in tow, I find Lindsay painting her toenails. She looks content, that vapid expression on her face, tongue sticking out slightly, and that long blonde hair hanging down over her shoulders, over that ample bosom of hers. I don't know what guys see in her, other than the fact that she's stupid and probably easy. Why yes, I did go there, but look at her. I mean, seriously. Do you think any sane straight guy with the dreaded One Thing on their mind is going to pass that up? In a way, this thought makes me feel sorry for her. _Almost._ Then I remind myself that she's stupid; she might not be consciously, but girl. Pick up a book and try educating yourself. You'd be surprised what a little education can do for the simple-minded.

"Are you really going to kiss Lindsay?" Cody hisses at me. He's standing right behind me, clutching that camera like it's some kind of holy salvation. I can feel his breath against my neck and I have to say, I'm not wholly against this shivery feeling it elicits. Blinking, I smirk at Cody and poke the camera he holds.

"Just make sure you have that thing ready," I tell him before striding over to Lindsay.

I'm lucky she's alone. There's no sign of Tyler for the moment, and usually he's all over the poor girl. I stand before her lounge chair and it takes her a moment to notice I'm there.

"Hey," she says, squinting up. "You're blocking out the sun. Like, can't you move out of the way, Owen?"

"I'm not Owen." Even as I say it, I know it's completely pointless. "Never mind. I came over here to ask you for a favor."

"Ooh!" She sits up now, all eager and perky. She looks around and I get the feeling favor means something else in the world of Lindsay. "Like party favors? I _love_ party favors!"

I suppress the deep urge to smack myself (or her) right in the face and instead, I sigh, my gaze sliding away from her in my attempt to keep my eyes from rolling. I take in a breath and put out my hand.

"Lindsay. Just take my hand, all right?"

She gives me that stereotypical blonde girl look, all quizzical and wondering, but not in the least skeptical. I nearly smirk again. _That's right_, I think as she finally takes my hand in anticipation for whatever it is she thinks I'm going to do. _Take my hand and let it unfold. _I pull her up to a standing position and she giggles. May I just take this moment to note something? I hate it when a girl giggles. Laughing is one thing, but giggles? They belong on four year old children, not teenagers, and certainly not older women. Though I have yet to meet an older woman who giggles. It's prevalent in teenagers. Especially around boys. It rings false to me. It can't just be my cynicism talking, either. It's just as irritating as nails on chalkboard, if you ask me.

Now I was going in for the kill. She remained completely clueless as I pulled her in, with the intention to kiss her. I even closed my eyes and then...

"What's going on here?"

I take a moment before opening my eyes. Justin is standing there with a cocky smile written all over his face and he walks right over and shoves me away from Lindsay, and her away from me. Annoyed, I try to push him right back, but I'm woefully inept. My muscles don't cooperate and he stays exactly where he is. I feel like I'm trying to shove a brick wall. I suppose he's what amounts to one, especially when you think of how he's the wall to my challenge.

"Are you cheating?" He raises his eyebrows like he knows that was exactly what I was doing. I scowl at him. Okay, so trickery is against the rules, but I had yet to trick anybody.

"It's not cheating." I cross my arms.

"Oh?" Justin takes that moment to look at Lindsay. "Did you realize Noah here was about to kiss you?"

"What? No he wasn't. He just asked me if I liked favors and I said, yes! And then he told me to take his hand, which I thought was a little weird, but I thought, what the heck? Why not? And I took his hand and then—"

"And then this little pervert was about to kiss you."

I narrow my eyes at this. "Excuse me? How was that in _any_ way perverted?" I turn back to Cody, who throws me a wave and a sheepish smile, followed by that nervous little laugh of his. "Back me up here, bro. Tell this clown I'm not a pervert."

Cody dutifully joins us and backs me up. "It's true. He hasn't done anything perverted."

I should know what's coming up next, but I don't. I start to give Justin the smuggest of my smug smirks when I find _him_ smiling at _me_. It also happens to be one of those sort of smiles where you can tell the person is pretending to be benevolent but something far from that will be coming from his mouth. I try to head him off at the pass; I fail. My ill-fated utterance is covered completely with his next sentence:

"Really, Cody? You don't think waking up to him _spooning you_ and hm, I don't know, _slobbering all over your ear_ was perverted? Really? _Really_, Cody? Then!" He gasps. "That must mean you _liked_ it! Does that mean you're—!"

"_No_!" Cody's shout is emphatic and tremulous. He's even waving his arms around for dramatic effect. I don't know whether to be amused or annoyed by his typical spastic display. He looks to me with a semi-panic in his eyes. No blame, though. Surprising. I thought for sure he'd be at least a little peeved at the predicament my dream has seemed to put us both in.

"Look, you!" Cody points at him, all frowning and angry. It's almost too cute. I cross my arms and smile at Cody, my gaze flicks back to Justin. He's not impressed. Cody's not done, though. "Leave him alone, you great big bully! And me, too! What is your _problem_, dude? We're just friends, that's all! Why don't you just chill and go find something else to do?"

"Friends, huh? Coulda fooled me." Justin locks me with a steel gaze. I just smirk in response.

"Got any more business with us?"

"Um, like, hey," Lindsay interjects. "Owen? I thought you had business with _me_."

"I did." I haven't forgotten. I decide to be bold. Let's not waste any more time, right? "Kiss me, Lindsay."

"Right now? What if somebody's watching?"

"That's the point."

She looks so confused. Poor girl. _Not._ She turns to stare at Justin, eyes dazzling for a moment before turning back to eye Cody and then her gaze goes around to the rest of the camp.

"Oh for Pete's sake! It's not that bad! One kiss!" I spring up one finger for emphasis, waggling it under her nose. She goes cross-eyed trying to follow it.

"Okay! One quick kiss!" She leans forward and pecks me on the lips. As she's pulling away, I hear Cody:

"Wait, wait! Hold it! Just a little longer!"

Lindsay obeys, staying where she is. My gaze slides over to Cody. What is he thinking? I see him fumbling with the camera and I let out a soft snort, rolling my eyes. I move away from Lindsay and she starts to fall over, grabbing onto my shoulders for balance.

"H-hey!" I wobble back a few steps, wind milling my arms like a stupid child. "Yikes!" I pitch backward with Lindsay falling on top of me. A cascade of blond hair that smells like strawberries envelopes my senses. I hear the click of the camera a second later.

"I told you to hold it," Cody complains. I glare up at him.

"We didn't need a photo, you idiot."

Cody's eyes go wide. I send a vicious gesture of my arm towards Justin.

"He's standing _right there."_

"Oh, right." Cody smiles that gap-toothed smile of his and I find I've already forgiven him. I sit up and shove Lindsay away—she's getting up and rubbing her elbow, which she apparently smacked against the pavement. Dusting myself off, I get to my feet and smirk.

"I win."

Justin says nothing. He storms off.

"Maybe we should practice for that, uh, musical thing now," Cody says. I look over at him. He's clutching that camera close to his chest as if he thinks I'm going to tear it away from him.

"Right."

"Owen? Are we done yet? Ohh, I totally get it now! It was _practice_ for the _ play!_"

"Yes. That's what it was, Lindsay. Practice. For the play." I smirk some more before moving away and beckoning to Cody to follow. "Come on, Cody. Let's practice."


	8. If This Ain't Love

**Hello, Hello**

**Chapter Seven**

**If This Ain't Love**

"Ugh! Take what? Two thousand and thirty four?" I know I'm exaggerating, but it seems we've been rehearsing the same scene for the past three hours. I check my watch. Make that going on _four_ hours.

"Come on, Cody. I know you're not that bad." I sigh and slide a hand down my face in exasperation. I take in a huge breath and then I clear my throat, straighten up, and remove my hand from my face. I've got to tell you, touching your face a lot is actually very unsanitary. Did you know it's more hygienic to rub butts than it is to shake hands? I'm sure you understand why. Hands touch many different things in the course of a day while—why am I still explaining this to you? I'm not your teacher. If you want a lesson, go back to school.

"Okay," Cody says, though his eyes are doing that nervous darting thing he does when he's hiding something or suspects something is about to happen to him. I cross my arms and let out a huff of air.

"Now what?"

"Nothing. Once more from the top!" Cody adjusts his collar and offers me a winning smile. I can't help it. I smile back. Not a goofy smile, just to clear that right now. I'm not even sure such an expression is in my repertoire. Is that word too big for you? Repertoire. Go look it up in a dictionary. Interesting word. Also, a sort of double entendre the way I've used it here. Look that one up, too. Gotta love these French etymology lessons. Not to be confused with entomology. Two very different areas of study, my friend.

"All right. Now we're talking." I don't even bother looking at my script. I have this down. Cody, however, is clutching his like a lifeline. No, I'm dead serious. At first, I decide to ignore it and take the scene "once more from the top" but Cody is being a dud—once again. I let out an enormous huff of air and snatch his script. Then I throw it to the floor.

"What is _up_ with you?" He starts to open his mouth and I just know it's going to be an excuse. So I head him off at the pass by grabbing his arm and wheeling him around. I walk him out of my room and out the door and on the little patio. Crossing my arms, I lean against the wooden beams holding up the structure and gesture for Cody to speak. "Out with it."

"N-nothing! Really, it's nothing."

I roll my eyes. This is honestly getting a little bit annoying.

"Fine. You know what? I've got _my_ lines down. You're the only one who's going to look like a complete idiot on the stage. Have fun being a clown. You do seem to have a talent for it."

"Well," Cody rubs his arm and his blue-green gaze sidles away again. I'm fully expecting another dodge maneuver, but he surprises me by letting out a long-suffering sigh and then sits down on the top step of the patio. I look down at him and I'm instantly annoyed at the sudden urge to run my hand through his hair. What? His hair looks like it'd be interesting to ruffle, is all. Since it already kind of has that tousled look to it. I wonder if he does it on purpose. Hah. It probably takes him all morning to get it to do that. I study it for a moment. Nah. I don't think so. I think if Cody had a choice, he'd rather have hair like Trent. Because we all know he wishes he were the one Gwen was looking at. I almost feel sorry for him.

"Is this about Gwen?" I venture, coming over and sitting beside him. He glances at me before fidgeting with his sleeve and then seems to notice his nervous movement. He sighs again and props his chin in one hand.

"Nah. Not this time."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"I mean, okay. So say Justin _did_ set up that scene in the musical where you have to kiss him—"

"Don't remind me."

Cody's gaze slides over to me. I nudge him in the ribs with my elbow.

"Ow! Watch where you poke that thing."

"Wanna switch roles with me?"

"I offered to switch with you before. Now you suddenly wanna take me up on my offer?"

"That was sarcasm, bro. Learn it. The language of champions."

"I know what sarcasm is."

"You do?" I arch an eyebrow at him. He tries to do the same in return, but he's not as skilled as I am.

"Noah, are you even _listening_ to me, dude? I'm trying to say that if Justin set that whole elaborate thing up with Chris just to get you to lose the challenge, you know, because you'd be all kissing him and stuff, do you think we'll even have to do it?"

"No, no." I lay back against the step, sliding onto the next one down so I can use the topmost one as an armrest. "I know Chris has to have a plan of his own. He lives to torment us. He's like the last boss in Zargoth. Always one step ahead. I think Justin, monkey-brained lackey that he is, seized the opportunity as a way to win that ridiculous challenge."

"Do you _want_ to kiss Justin?"

"What?" I sit up and look up at Cody. "You have _got_ to be kidding me."

"Well, you don't seem all that opposed anymore. I just thought—"

"You thought wrong. Who even cares?"

Cody looks up at the sky and runs a hand through his hair. "Ah, just forget it. I have lines I need to learn and less than a week to do it." He starts to get up. I yank him back down by the tail of his shirt.

"Oh, stop. I'll help you. But how about you, I don't know, give a little thing called _acting_ a try this time?"

"Right."

We sit there, though. Neither of us gets up. Neither of us makes any move to do anything. I strongly suspect Cody is thinking about something that troubles him. I'm a smart guy. I have a feeling I know what it is. I stare at the nearby water for a long moment before I steeple my hands together. How do you ask a question like this without sounding like you care what the answer is? Oh right. I'm Noah. Everything I say instantly takes a derisive tone to it.

"You're insulted, aren't you?" I look over at Cody. He stares back at me, puzzled. His mouth is half open as he starts to question me. "That I denied kissing you but I'll get up on in front of everyone and lay one on good old Justin."

Cody's gaze drops. He doesn't answer. He's not even fidgeting. Hm. New development. What does it mean when he's not fidgeting? I swallow before I gently lay a hand on his knee. He glances at me, but still has nothing to say. I can't tell with him. The poor guy tries so hard to be cool when he clearly isn't. He's got stalker issues with Gwen. But he's taking offense to _this_?

"Look, it's nothing personal. This thing with Justin is a farce at best. I'm not actually going to kiss him. I planned on doing something else." I smirk at the thought of kneeing him in the groin. "Although I should add that ear thing? Purely on the farce list. So let's not look too deeply into that. By the way, is that why you're doing such a poor job of acting? Or is that just your signature style?"

"What do you mean? I mean, I know what you mean, but what do you mean 'is _this_ why' I suck at acting?"

I raise an eyebrow again. What the hell is he trying to say? He can tell I'm confused. He shakes his head and buries it in his hands for a long moment. I stretch further against the steps, wondering if maybe I'll go all slinky and wind up at the bottom of the steps. Cody lifts his head and I glance back at him.

"You think I'm flubbing because…?" Cody supplies.

"The ear thing. And," I start, then decide not to finish that particular sentence. It's miraculous things between us aren't weirder, given the circumstances. "You're not worried I'm going to _attack_ you or something, are you? Because I'm reassuring you now, all right, buddy? Nothing is going to happen. So just learn your lines."

Cody gives me this odd, measuring look. I don't know what he's thinking, but I want to. He's got a contemplative expression on his face now, and I know there are wheels turning in his head. I just don't know to what end. He's infectious, though. Filled with life. Where I'm nihilistic, he's got this weirdly optimistic outlook. Even when he's getting blown up. Even when he's getting turned down. Even when the love of his life is clearly interested in somebody else. I hold that thought for a moment. He helped Gwen and Trent. _Why_ did he help them? Isn't he just a sweet little knight in shining armor? I give him an appraising look. He's looking at the ground now. I can see the round curve of his cheek, the hair curling about his ears, the shadow of his lashes. He looks up.

"So, loverboy," I drawl. "Why did you let Trent have her?"

"H-huh?" He's totally floored, his mind clearly having been miles away while he stared at the dirt. _Curiouser and curiouser._

"Did fighting the inevitable finally get to you?"

"It wasn't inevitable. But, you know. She liked him. He liked her…"

"Yeah. Inevitable," I repeat. Did he really think he stood a chance? Did he really think he'd been a true obstacle in the romance of Trent and Gwen? His confidence amuses me. It also somehow astounds me. Where did it come from? Where I sit, he's interesting. Kinda cute, in a messy, careless way. But oblivious. So oblivious. Maybe that lent itself to confidence. A thought occurs to me. "Cody, you don't think doing that meant she'd come back to you, do you? That adage is a crock."

Cody draws one knee closer, and he has this look about him, like he's going to start sucking on his thumb or something. Annoyingly enough, my heart sinks.

"Oh jeez. That didn't hurt your feelings, did it?"

Cody lets out a sigh and after a moment, he shakes his head. "Nah."

I wait for him to say more, but he doesn't. For some reason, my palms feel kinda clammy. I don't feel well. I actually feel awkward. Pfft. That's not my job. Cody's the awkward one. I'm Noah. I don't feel self-conscious. Although, psychologically speaking? Everybody feels self-conscious every now and then.

The sun is going down. The night is falling and the temperature is following suit. Neither of us says anything. I shift in my seat and pull out my script from my back pocket. Cody's is still on the floor in my room, but I already know my lines. Silently, I hand him my script. At first, I think he's not going to take it. But after a moment, he does. He doesn't look at it, though. He just dangles it between his legs, then lightly smacks his leg with it a few times.

"Sorry, man," I say, just to say something. Just to break this awkward silence.

"Nothing to apologize for. You just tell it like it is."

That's not what I wanted to hear. My pessimism shouldn't affect Cody. My pessimism shouldn't rub off on him. Even at his worst, Cody still somehow manages to exude an air of cheerfulness. And he's humble, I suppose. Which sounds like an oxymoron, because he's so damn confident. Thing is, his confidence isn't the same as, oh say, Justin's. Or even mine. It's a cover for insecurity. Cody's insecure. And I've managed to poke at his fragility. Go me.

"She might."

Cody looks over at me. He ceases smacking himself with the script. I lean toward him, nudging him shoulder to shoulder, as if we have some sort of conspiracy between us.

"Eh? Eh? She might come back. Just relax. Don't be all up in her 'grill.' Don't sniff her hair. Don't be all _weird._ It scares girls off." I almost wish somebody would do this to Cody. Then maybe he'd learn to lay off.

"Can I ask you something, Noah?"

I shrug. "I can't stop you."

"Why do you care?" He looks down at the script in his hands, all rolled up. He unrolls it, then rolls it back up again. "I mean, about me and Gwen."

"I don't. I just figured I owed you one." He had tried to help me, after all. There he goes again. He's watching me, then he finally lets out a little huff of a laugh before opening the script with a flourish.

"Okay. _One_ more time from the top!"


	9. Then How Do We Get Out?

**Hello, Hello**

**Chapter Eight**

**Then How Do We Get Out?**

He's got it, by golly! By that I mean, Cody's got his lines down. And it's about time, too, because we've only got a day left until the 'Big Day.' I say this with heavy emphasis on the quotes, by the way. Despite hating the material and Chris for creating it, I'm a little proud of myself for getting Cody to this point. Seriously, for a while there, I thought he was going to be the worst thing to come to stage since Chee-Chee. Wonder what that is? Reference too obscure for your tiny mind? It's a play about a eunuch. Let's just stop the explanation there. (I mean, do I even have to explain further why it failed? I didn't think so.)

But every silver lining has a cloud and this one's a doozy. You see, I'm having a hard time extricating myself from the whole Cody situation. I can see now that we're friends. Cody obviously considers me one. He talks to me every day—and not just when we're rehearsing. I swear, he goes out of his way to come talk to me. I don't mind. Not a bit. Not even when I'm reading. And I read a lot. I'm taking my opportunity in the Playa Des Losers resort to catch up on all that reading I missed while cheering my dodgeball team on (and they thank me with a vote off. Am I missing something here?) Do I consider Cody a friend? I do. I guess I do.

Now I'm the one who's troubled, but I think I'm better at keeping it to myself. I'm a pretty good secret keeper when I want to be, you see. Cody's got everything written on his face. Well, except for when he gets that annoying inscrutable face. And then I just want to reach into his head and pull out all the answers to the questions I admit I don't have the guts to ask.

You see, the thing is, my cloud? I think I may have inadvertently got myself a little _emotionally_ involved with Cody. And by that I mean, in the girliest of girly terms. I believe I'm falling in love.

Now, before you go getting skeptical on me, remember who you're talking to. Yeah, hello? Noah here. I'm as skeptical and cynical as they come. I don't really believe in love as a verb that I'm capable of performing. But even geniuses are wrong. I believe in this case, I was _dead_ wrong. I don't like it, either. I always thought love was pretty straightforward and all that, if it did exist. I don't expect love to be what it is in movies. They portray it as this whole mutual attraction, obvious from the start. The hero and heroine meet for the first time, and when they look at one another, you just _know_ because chemistry and sparks and all that good cliché stuff takes place. Nothing like that happened between myself and Cody. I didn't take one look at him and go all weak at the knees. And if I did, please shoot me now, because that's just a disgustingly sappy and sentimental thought.

There's just something about Cody, to borrow the title of a well-known movie. Pardon the pop culture reference. But there is. Cody makes me feel calm inside. Simultaneously, though, he can do one tiny thing and I feel my heart race. It's sickening. It's annoying. I'm really starting to hate it.

Cody isn't with me right now. He ran off to tell the world he finally mastered his lines. I'm left sitting on a lounge chair with a book I can't concentrate on. I keep staring at the words, but they line up like tiny black ants. I can't comprehend them because I've got too much on my mind and I'm having trouble focusing on the story. Finally, I set the book aside on a table nearby and replace the book with a drink. I sip and I think and I watch. Everybody else is having a _gay_ old time. Hah. Hah. They are, though. Splashing in the pool, giggling, flirting, playing games. Harold is hiding from Courtney, as usual. Geoff and Bridgette are making out, as usual. Cody is with Gwen. As usual.

Did I mention Owen and Gwen are back? Yeah. Owen won the game. There's talk of a new season of the show. I ignore it, even though I admit I'd love another shot at the money.

Yes. Gwen is here.

I think you know what that means. It's Gwen he's happily blathering his newest triumph to. I don't consider myself a jealous guy, but I gotta tell you. I don't feel good about this new development. I wonder if this was how Cody felt. Handing Gwen off to Trent. I'm not handing Cody off, though. I'm not even bothering to be a contender. Cody's made it abundantly clear where he stands. Hasn't he?

I lift up my sunglasses. I see them now. Gwen and Trent and Cody. They're over by the juice bar. They all look happy. Even Gwen. Even Cody. Just to be near her. It's like being close to the sun, isn't it, Cody? I lower my sunglasses once more. I really, really _hate_ this new development.

**+That Night+**

I'm almost asleep when I hear the creak of my door opening. I open one eye and I hear a voice nearby. "Psst."

I roll over in my bed and find Cody at the door. Now what would he be doing here? I'm slightly annoyed, but I'm also strangely pleased. He's come to my room? Why the heck would he do that? He's not in his pajamas, either. I'm in my underwear again, and he does that whole polite turning of the head thing while I sit up and pull my shorts on.

"Okay. I give. What?"

He glances at the sleeping form in the other bed. At least it's one form and not two, right? When I turn back to Cody, he's got one finger to his lips while he gestures for me to come outside with his other hand. He's backing out the door; I'm not bothering with a shirt. I just slide out of bed and rake a hand through my hair before following him outside.

"Why aren't you standing over Gwen's bed and breathing through your mouth?" I ask. Even as it's coming out my mouth, I know it's a stupid and harsh thing to say. It stings Cody, I can tell. He turns to look at me with a sharp gaze, but he doesn't say anything. The set of his jaw worries me, though. I let out a sigh, but there are no apologies. I mean, I planned on it, but now Cody's moving down the steps and at first, I think maybe I should go back to bed. Who am I kidding? I'd lie awake the rest of the night wondering what this was all about. After a moment, I follow him down the steps.

Cody's pretty fast when he wants to be. He turns to look over his shoulder to make sure I'm still behind him. I am. He keeps moving. He's heading around the back of my cabin. I thought for sure he was going to lead me back over to the water or something.

"Where are we going?" I hiss into the night. Cody stops abruptly, turns around and grabs my wrist before pulling me into a tall patch of scratchy weeds. I'm too surprised to say a word for a moment, but just as I start to—the rumble of my voice is just rising from my throat—Cody slaps a hand over my mouth and indicates something nearby with a jerk of his head.

I hate to say it, but I'm actually kinda enjoying this. Or at least, my body sure is. My head isn't quite sure what's going on. Peering through the grass, my eyes widen. Not what I expected, to say the least. I shove Cody's hand away.

"Gwen?" I whisper, because that's what I see. But that's not all. Gwen and… I frown. "Is that Duncan?"

Cody turns his gaze back to me, eyes wide. "Shhh," he says, bringing a finger to his lips. Then we both turn back to the spectacle before us. Now, it's not like they're doing anything. Seriously. Like, they're just sitting there together, but they look way too close for a guy who's already dating somebody else and a girl who's oh so in love with her boyfriend. Well, kind of. Those two are a little cuckoo, if you get me. The more I listen to them laughing and her smacking him on the shoulder, the more I think maybe they're with the wrong person. I turn back to Cody, who's now doing that thing with his hands, you know the one, where he's all nervous and holding something back.

"Okay. What's the big deal. Why did you wake me up for _this?_"

Cody freaks a little, sticks his head up, notices they haven't seen him and then takens me by the wrist and drags me away from the happy not-couple and back over to the porch of my room.

"Can I talk now?" I ask, annoyed. He nods mutely. "Okay. Why. Did you wake me up. For that?" Then of course, my genius kicks in and I realize that of course, it has to do with Gwen. He's in love with Gwen. Duncan is pretty scary to people like Cody, a lot scarier than Trent ever was. "Look, Cody," I start. "Gwen is…"

"I don't know what to do. I mean, I like her so much! But she doesn't even… I don't even compare. Me and Duncan…?" He sighs and his shoulders sag. "I don't stand a chance. I never did… Did I?"

"Honestly? No." But he goes all pathetic again and sighs and I can't help but awkwardly pat him on the back. "Cheer up, will you? Gwen's not the only girl out there."

"But she's the only one I really like!"

"And you know you can't change her mind, so try to find somebody else."

"Like who?" He starts to name off girls on the show and I wave my hands to stop him.

"Hello! There are other people in the world, you know. The girls on this show are only a tiny percentage of that amount." Seriously, Cody. Get a clue. "Or you could do the immature thing and bust in on them." At Cody's hopeful look, I put up a finger. "Don't. That was sarcasm."

Edging back to my room, I beckon for Cody to follow. "Come on, you have to see this before you go all postal on me." Inside, I reach under my bed and retrieve my laptop. Opening it up, I quickly retrieve what I'm looking for and turn the laptop toward Cody.

"You have fans, okay, bro?"

It's true. It's right there on the website for the show. There's even this nutcase of a girl who claims she's going to marry Cody. Fat chance. She's totally not his type. I lift my hand to sort of pat Cody on the back but I end up massaging it lightly instead. It's kind of a nice feeling, even though I'm not the one getting the patterns of circles drawn over my back. Still, it seems to relax Cody and I slowly feel the muscles beginning to loosen up. This time, when he sighs, it sounds more content and his eyes are half-closed. I lean closer. Cody doesn't even seem to notice.

I feel like I'm on dangerous ground, so to stop myself from going "there," I remind both Cody and myself that tomorrow is the big musical play night. Cody nods sleepily and I think for a moment that he's going to get up, but he doesn't. I glance at the laptop. His hand isn't moving, the page isn't moving. I look back at Cody, and find that his head is leaning down. He's falling asleep. I'm faced with a couple of choices, and my heart pounds too hard in my chest.

I should wake him up. I know that I should. But I end up closing the laptop carefully and quietly so as not to wake him—though half of me hopes that he does so I don't have to. Then I get up and exhale, sliding the computer back under my bed. When I move back, Cody has completely crashed. His face is pressed against the bed and he's out. I can't help but smile slightly before I turn away and lie on my back, eyes looking to the ceiling. I tell myself I should get up and let him have the bed, but I'm drowsy, too, from being woken and before I know it… I'm out, too.


End file.
